The way we respond to our colleagues, team members or fellow industry peers in the workplace matters. One of the easiest traps to fall into (especially when we're trying to be efficient or give direction) is replying with “yes, but…” in a conversation or meeting environment.

Why avoiding the word “but” leads to better conversations.

It sounds harmless. Yet that one little word can undo everything that came before it.

“That’s a good idea, but it won’t work with our budget.”
“I liked what you said, but we need to focus elsewhere.”

No matter how positive the first part was, the but tends to cancel it out. What’s remembered is the rejection, not the praise or agreement that came first. And it’s likely that the person who received the “but” will already have started to shut down or disengage.

There’s a better way (one we use regularly in the Firefly Team and in training, coaching and facilitation).
Yes … [fill in what you are agreeing with] and … . So “Yes this point is important, I can tell it matters to you, and I wonder what about this other thing” for example.

Instead of negating someone’s contribution, yes … and validates it. It builds on what’s been said, creating a more open, constructive space for ideas and collaboration. This is a method we often encourage during Firefly facilitation sessions as it helps teams stay connected, curious and forward-focused. To be clear, this isn’t about agreeing with everything, you’re instead finding what you can genuinely reinforce and then adding your perspective.

How it works in the workplace.

Say a colleague suggests prioritising customer solutions. You could respond with:
“You’re right, customer solutions are really important, and we also need to think about the timing of that alongside our stakeholder commitments.”

You’re not saying “yes” to everything. You’re saying: I hear you, and here’s something else to consider. The actual word “yes” doesn’t even need to be spoken, it’s the spirit of agreement and momentum that counts.

This approach is just as powerful when you don’t agree with someone’s idea, but still want to respect their intention. You might respond to their energy or passion instead of the specifics. For example:

“What I really appreciate is your enthusiasm for doing the right thing for our customers, and right now, our team is stretched thin, so we need to balance both priorities.”

Small shift, big impact.

It’s a subtle shift, but it changes how people feel. They feel heard, not shut down. And when people feel heard, they’re more likely to contribute again. It’s how you build trust, encourage participation, and keep conversations flowing in a productive direction.

It also means that when you do need to draw a hard line or say no, it’s more impactful because people don’t feel constantly dismissed. They know their input is valued.

Try noticing in your next few conversations where you might usually say “but,” and see what happens if you switch to yes, and. You might be surprised at how much more open, respectful, and solution-focused the dialogue becomes.

This isn’t a communication trick - it’s a way of creating space for better conversations, where people in the workplace feel safe to speak, share, and collaborate. It’s one of those small habits that can quietly transform how your team connects and communicates.

This blog was inspired by one of the bonus videos in our Online Learning Library - a powerful resource designed to support real, lasting growth at every stage of your career. With online courses on authentic leadership, team dynamics, courageous conversations and more, the Firefly Online Learning Library brings together decades of experience into flexible, practical learning you can access anytime, anywhere. 

Whether you're leading a team or developing your own skills, it's designed to help you communicate with more clarity, confidence and impact.