As an accredited leadership coach and strategist, Firefly’s Kirsty Maynor spent thousands of hours over a career spanning more than 25 years coaching senior leaders and individuals (both in a group capacity and one-to-one), supervising elite coaches and growing a successful business. Coaching is a key part of the development journey. Finding a great coach, however, can be challenging.

How do you define a great coach, and how can you tell if you’re receiving great coaching? It’s not always easy to tell how effective a coach is, particularly if you get along well with them. But coaching is about much more than friendship: it’s about finding someone that can help you get the results you need, achieve what you’re capable of and let your light shine.

In this guide, Kirsty will help you understand some of the finer points of what makes a great coach, as well as what it means to receive really great coaching.

Connecting with your coach 

“I feel heard, unconditionally loved and pushed to be my best self.”  - Eve Ford, Coaching for Educational Excellence. 

One of the most important aspects of the coaching relationship is finding someone that you have a strong connection with. In order to get the most out of your coaching experience, it’s essential to find a coach who understands where you’re coming from and where you want to get to. When I’m in a coaching relationship, I always begin by encouraging my clients to share their ideas and dreams with me, so that I can help them create, invent and shape their own futures.

Finding the right coach for you means finding a coach that can connect with you at a deeper level, who truly listens to what you say, and who makes you feel understood. The way that a good coach listens to you, connects with you and challenges you should make it feel like they really hear the words you don’t dare to speak. 

You will recognise great coaching when:

• You feel comfortable with your coach and trust them with your deepest thoughts.

• You feel that your coach genuinely knows you, perhaps better than you know yourself.

• You accept the challenges your coach presents you with, because you trust that they know you can handle it.

• You’re not afraid to be independent.

What can great coaching do for you?

“After a challenging question I find myself having to answer from my heart,  and not my head.” - Andrea Owen, Your Kick Ass Life. 

We’re all real, flawed and imperfect people. But I like to show people that as long as they’re willing to show up, anything is possible. A great coach will not accept the limitations that you put in your own way. 

They will help you to:

• Start believing in bigger possibilities than ever before.

• Take steps that you were previously unable - or unwilling - to take.

• Believe that you can and will do it.

Great coaching will challenge and support you in equal measure

“Transformation through coaching is not just an idea in my head, but a fully embodied relational experience that changes both my world view and my impact in the world.”  - Judy Cohen, The Opportunity Game. 

Although it’s important for a good coach to support you and help you reach your goals, support on its own is not enough. A great coach will also challenge you, stretch you and ask you the difficult questions that you may not even ask yourself. 

A coach who really challenges you can have a significant impact. Many of us - myself included - have times when we struggle with self-doubt, a lack of confidence and even imposter syndrome. But a great coach will challenge those flawed beliefs and show you that your insecurities don’t have to stop you from realising your dreams. 

Signs that your coach is challenging you in the right way

• You are stumped by some of the questions they ask, and find yourself pondering them for days afterwards.

• You recognise the feeling of stretching yourself and growing as a person.

• You know that your coach believes in you and will be there for you as you reach new heights.

• You are inspired and have new perspectives.

I believe that great coaches should be able to do two things simultaneously: inspire you to connect to your deepest intentions, whilst opening your eyes to new perspectives - even when you feel most “stuck”. 

A great coach will inspire you to achieve things you never thought possible, simply by anchoring your self-belief in your most positive self. And they’ll do this in a way that takes account of all the possibilities and realities of where you are right now, without letting those realities limit you. 

I know that sometimes we all find ourselves in difficult situations, when it seems as though we don’t have multiple options or possibilities. A good coach will be able to identify alternatives, explore possibilities and help you to choose the one that will serve you best.

A great coach will help you to:

• Realise you have choices, even when you feel stuck.

• Believe that anything is possible, and help you take the necessary steps to make those possibilities a reality.

• Start seeing things in new ways and from different perspectives.

What are the results of great coaching?

“I feel a powerful shift at my core – in my heart.” - Sharon Taylor, DragonFly Experience.

When you have a strong relationship with your coach, you connect with each other and your goals are aligned, which means that results will follow naturally. 

You’ll know you’re receiving great coaching because you will:

• Retain your independence

• Feel empowered

• Be challenged and supported in equal measure

• Feel inspired

• Be open to alternative perspectives.

Whenever I’m in a coaching relationship with a client, I make it a priority to review goals and progress regularly. It’s important to make sure our goals are aligned - and that they are evolving naturally - as we move forwards in the coaching relationship.

Signs that you’re getting great results from your coaching relationship include:

• Being clear about your goals and what they mean to you.

• Understanding exactly what actions you need to take to pursue your goals.

• Feeling confident enough to take those actions.

• Your life is transformed.

In other words, you know you're getting great coaching when you're having an ADVENTURE!

A great coach will help you to connect with your own source of power: they'll hand you the key to your power store and show you how to use and keep hold of it. Because of this, you'll stand stronger, walk taller and achieve more. 

When are you ready to end your coaching? 

“You transform!”  - Rebecca Elia, Creating Feminine Health.

However deep your connection with your coach, the end-game is always independence. One of the ways you can tell that you’re receiving great coaching is when you realise that you can stand on your own two feet. You will know that whatever life throws at you, however high you set your goals, everything is within your reach. 

You’ll know that you are ready to end your coaching when:

• You feel ready to go it alone and take on the world by yourself.

• You know the questions to ask yourself to get ‘unstuck’ and move forward.

• You want to fly solo with the new skills, insight and perspectives you’ve acquired throughout your coaching journey.

• You feel empowered and you’re not afraid to take the next step.

A great coach will challenge, support and encourage you every step of the way. But once you’ve acquired the skills you need to make your dreams a reality, you’ll be ready to take yourself to the next chapter in your life. All you need to do is show up and let your light shine. Good luck!