“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” - Brené Brown

Just over six years ago, Firefly’s CEO Kirsty Maynor, was lucky enough to be among fewer than 20 people in the UK who were given the opportunity to study with Brené  Brown in London, to become a facilitator of her work. Kirsty says: “I have a great deal of respect for Brené’s theories on shame, vulnerability and leadership, and often refer to her teachings in my own work. Her (now famous) Tedx Talk on ‘The Power of Vulnerability’ is a great starting point for anyone who is new to her work, or check out my blog on ‘Atlas of the Heart, which is one of my favourite books of hers. “

Kirsty Maynor on the importance of sharing trust and vulnerability in leadership coaching.

One of the most important things that I learned from Brené is that we all share similar fears and concerns. Most of our worries - big or small - are the same for everyone: we’re all worried that we’ll look stupid if we push ourselves forward; we’re all afraid to ask the wrong question in a meeting; we all find it difficult to ask for what we want because we’re scared that we’ll be rejected. Ultimately, we’re all driven by similar fears, anxieties and insecurities. 

As a leadership coach, I’ve come to realise that sharing more of myself - even when it feels uncomfortable - helps my clients to see that they’re not alone. That deep down, we’re all the same. 

Sharing and integrating my personal experiences into my work as a coach is something that I’ve struggled with in the past. I often find it  difficult to open myself up and let my clients see enough of me - particularly in a coaching relationship - because the focus is on them. But allowing myself to open up, share and be more vulnerable helps develop trust in the coaching relationship. Before they can truly open up and trust me, it helps my clients to know who I really am.

Sharing in coaching is vital.

Learning to share some of my own stories has helped me to build more trust with my clients, opening the door to a deeper, more meaningful connection - something that’s vital in coaching. Of course, it’s also necessary to maintain professionalism and to set boundaries around how much you share (and of course, make sure you also receive the support that you need as a coach), but I’ve found that if you allow yourself to be real, authentic and true to yourself, it’s reflected in the quality of your relationships.

25+ years of experience as a coach and change strategist has taught me that opening myself up and allowing myself to be vulnerable fosters genuine trust between myself and the clients I work with. And that, in turn, helps them to develop the courage and confidence they need to be vulnerable, push themselves forward and allow themselves to be seen. 

We all share an extremely powerful, common humanity and desire to connect with other people. I’m glad that my training and experience has shown me the benefits of sharing vulnerability and trust, because I know that I’m a better coach for it.